Divorce Lawyers Share the Most Unexpected Things Clients Ask
Why Clients Ask Unusual Questions During Divorce
Divorce can be one of the most emotionally draining experiences in a person’s life. When people in Toronto meet with a divorce lawyer for the first time, their emotions often cloud logic. Fear, anger, guilt, and confusion can all shape the kinds of questions they ask.
It’s not uncommon for divorce lawyers to receive questions that range from surprisingly personal to completely unrelated to legal matters. This often happens because clients are seeking reassurance in the midst of uncertainty. Emotional stress and fear of the unknown can lead to questions driven more by anxiety than legal necessity.
Another reason behind unexpected questions is misinformation. Many individuals rely on stories they’ve heard from friends, relatives, or social media, which may not reflect the reality of Ontario’s divorce laws.
The Most Unexpected Questions Divorce Lawyers Hear
“Can I hide assets from my spouse?”
This is one of the most frequent and ethically challenging questions divorce lawyers receive. Clients may ask this out of fear of losing what they’ve worked hard for or frustration toward their spouse. However, under Ontario’s Family Law Act, both parties are required to provide full financial disclosure.
“Can my spouse be forced to move out?”
This question often arises when both partners remain in the matrimonial home during a separation. Under Ontario law, both spouses have an equal right to occupy the home, regardless of whose name is on the title or lease. A spouse can only be removed through a court order for exclusive possession, which is typically granted in cases involving domestic violence or significant emotional distress.
“Can I refuse to grant a divorce?”
Many clients assume they can stop a divorce by refusing to agree to it. However, Canada follows a no-fault divorce system under the Divorce Act, meaning one spouse’s desire to divorce is usually enough. A lawyer will explain that while one partner can delay proceedings through disputes over support, property, or parenting issues, they cannot permanently prevent a divorce once the legal grounds typically one year of separation are met.
“Do I have to share my lottery winnings or inheritance?”
This question reflects common confusion around equalization of net family property in Ontario. In most cases, inheritances and gifts received after marriage are excluded from equalization unless they were used to buy or improve the matrimonial home.
Lottery winnings, however, are generally treated as part of the couple’s property if they occurred during the marriage.
“Can I track my spouse’s messages or social media?”
With digital evidence playing a growing role in family law, clients often wonder if they can “catch” a spouse in wrongdoing. However, privacy laws in Canada strictly limit unauthorized surveillance, including accessing personal accounts, installing tracking devices, or hacking into private messages. Lawyers caution that any evidence obtained unlawfully could be inadmissible in court and may expose the client to criminal liability.
“What if I want to stay married but live separately?”
Not all couples who separate want a divorce right away. Some prefer to remain legally married for financial, religious, or personal reasons. In such cases, a separation agreement is a powerful tool.
How Divorce Lawyers Handle These Conversations Professionally
Confidentiality and Judgment-Free Communication
The cornerstone of any lawyer–client relationship is confidentiality. Clients must feel safe to express their fears, doubts, or even questionable thoughts without worrying that their words will be used against them. Toronto divorce lawyers are bound by strict professional codes that protect private communications, encouraging clients to speak openly.
Educating Clients with Compassion and Integrity
Divorce lawyers in Toronto often act as educators as much as advocates. Many unusual questions stem from misinformation, cultural beliefs, or emotional stress. Instead of dismissing these questions, a skilled lawyer explains the legal reality clearly and compassionately without making clients feel embarrassed or guilty. Importantly, lawyers must stay within the boundaries of legal ethics.
Helping Clients Refocus on Achievable Outcomes
Amid emotional turmoil, clients often focus on “winning” rather than resolving. Divorce lawyers play a crucial role in redirecting that energy toward achievable, fair settlements. They help clients prioritize long-term stability such as secure parenting plans, financial independence, and emotional well-being over short-term retaliation or control.
What to Ask Instead Constructive Questions for Your Divorce Lawyer
Questions That Help You Plan Financially and Emotionally
Divorce isn’t just about ending a marriage it’s about rebuilding stability. Toronto divorce lawyers encourage clients to focus on questions that lead to informed, proactive decisions. By asking the right questions, you can clarify your rights, set realistic expectations, and minimize emotional uncertainty.
Examples of Constructive Questions to Ask Your Lawyer:
- “What are my rights regarding custody and support?”
Understanding how child custody and support are determined in Ontario helps you prepare emotionally and financially. Your lawyer can explain how factors like income, parenting time, and the best interests of the child affect outcomes under the Family Law Act and Divorce Act. - “How can I protect my financial interests?”
A lawyer can guide you through financial disclosure, division of assets, and protection of exempt property such as inheritances or pre-marital savings. Asking this question early helps ensure transparency and prevents later disputes over hidden or undervalued assets. - “What documents should I prepare before mediation or court?”
Having proper documentation ready such as bank statements, tax returns, and property valuations can speed up the process and strengthen your case. Your lawyer will outline what’s required for mediation, settlement discussions, or court filings, helping you stay organized and credible.
