How to Ask Your Partner for a Marriage Contract
Understanding What a Marriage Contract Covers
A marriage contract, commonly referred to as a prenuptial agreement, is a legally binding document that outlines how financial and property matters will be handled during a marriage and in the event of separation or divorce. In Ontario, marriage contracts are governed by Part IV of the Family Law Act, which allows couples to create agreements addressing various financial aspects of their relationship.
A marriage contract can be signed before or during marriage and is often used to clarify each partner’s financial rights and responsibilities, helping to prevent disputes in the future.
What Can and Cannot Be Included in a Marriage Contract
While a marriage contract offers flexibility in defining financial matters, there are clear legal limitations on what it can cover.
✅ Permitted Provisions in a Marriage Contract:
- Property Division – Specifies how assets and debts will be divided in case of separation.
- Spousal Support – Determines whether one spouse will pay financial support to the other and under what conditions.
- Inheritance & Estate Rights – Protects family assets or ensures certain assets remain with designated heirs.
- Business Interests – Safeguards one spouse’s business from claims in the event of divorce.
🚫 What Cannot Be Included in a Marriage Contract:
- Child Custody & Access – Future custody and access arrangements cannot be pre-decided, as courts prioritize the best interests of the child at the time of separation.
- Child Support – Any agreement that waives or limits child support obligations is not legally enforceable.
- Unfair or Unconscionable Terms – Courts can overturn contracts if they are significantly unfair, signed under duress, or fail to disclose important financial information.
How a Marriage Contract Differs from a Cohabitation Agreement
A cohabitation agreement serves a similar purpose as a marriage contract but is specifically for unmarried couples who are living together. If a couple with a cohabitation agreement later marries, their agreement automatically becomes a marriage contract unless stated otherwise.
Key Differences:
| Feature | Marriage Contract | Cohabitation Agreement |
| Who It’s For | Married couples or those planning to marry | Unmarried couples living together |
| Becomes Invalid Upon Marriage? | No, remains enforceable | No, but it automatically converts to a marriage contract unless modified |
| Covers Property & Financial Matters? | Yes | Yes |
| Includes Child Custody or Support? | No | No |
Understanding the scope of a marriage contract can help you navigate the conversation with your partner and ensure both of you are fully informed before making any legal commitments.
In the next section, we will explore strategies to bring up the conversation with your partner in a respectful and constructive manner.
Timing the Conversation: When to Bring It Up
Bringing up the idea of a marriage contract can be challenging, but timing plays a crucial role in ensuring a positive and productive discussion. If approached correctly, it can lead to greater financial clarity and mutual understanding between partners.
The Best Time to Introduce the Topic
While every couple is different, legal and relationship experts generally recommend discussing a marriage contract at the earliest appropriate stage in the relationship—preferably before engagement or early in wedding planning.
Best Times to Discuss a Marriage Contract:
- Before Engagement: If you anticipate the need for a marriage contract, bringing it up before engagement allows for open discussions without the pressure of wedding planning.
- Early in Wedding Planning: If the engagement has already happened, it’s best to raise the topic well in advance—ideally six to twelve months before the wedding—to allow enough time for thoughtful discussions and legal review.
- When Discussing Finances: If you and your partner are already discussing financial goals, debts, or property ownership, it’s a natural time to introduce the idea of a marriage contract.
By addressing the topic early, both partners can participate in the discussion with less emotional stress and more rational decision-making.
Avoiding Pressure or Last-Minute Decisions
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is waiting until the last minute to introduce the idea of a marriage contract. Presenting a contract shortly before the wedding can create pressure, resentment, or even legal challenges.
🚫 Why You Should Avoid Last-Minute Discussions:
- Legal Concerns: If a contract is signed under pressure, it could be challenged in court and possibly deemed invalid under Ontario’s Family Law Act.
- Emotional Tension: Bringing it up too close to the wedding could cause stress and potential conflict, taking away from the excitement of the upcoming marriage.
- Limited Legal Advice: Both partners need time to seek independent legal advice (which is required in Ontario for the contract to be enforceable).
💡 Tip: If the wedding date is approaching and the conversation hasn’t happened yet, consider postponing the contract discussion until after marriage. A marriage contract can be signed after the wedding, as long as both partners agree.
Ensuring Both Partners Have Ample Time to Consider Legal Implications
Since a marriage contract involves legally binding financial decisions, both partners should have sufficient time to consult with their lawyers and fully understand the terms before signing.
✅ Best Practices for Giving Your Partner Time to Consider the Agreement:
- Start the conversation well in advance. Aim for at least six months before the wedding.
- Encourage independent legal advice. Each partner should have their own lawyer to review the contract, as required under Ontario law.
- Discuss it gradually. Instead of a one-time conversation, revisit the topic over multiple discussions to ensure both parties are comfortable.
- Keep it neutral and open-minded. Frame it as a tool for mutual financial security, not a sign of distrust.
Preparing for the Conversation
Discussing a marriage contract can be a sensitive topic, but preparation is key to ensuring the conversation goes smoothly. Before bringing it up with your partner, you should educate yourself about Ontario’s family laws, seek legal advice, and frame the discussion as a collaborative decision rather than a demand.
1. Educating Yourself on Ontario’s Family Laws
A marriage contract falls under Part IV of Ontario’s Family Law Act, which governs property division and spousal support in the event of separation or divorce. Understanding these laws can help you explain why a marriage contract is beneficial and ensure that any agreement is fair and enforceable.
Key Legal Considerations in Ontario:
- Property Division: In the absence of a marriage contract, the equalization of net family property rule applies. This means that assets acquired during the marriage are typically divided equally, regardless of who contributed more financially.
- Spousal Support: If a couple separates, one spouse may be entitled to spousal support, depending on factors such as income disparity, length of marriage, and financial dependence. A marriage contract can set out or limit spousal support obligations.
- What a Marriage Contract Cannot Do: It cannot determine child custody, parenting time, or child support, as these decisions are made based on the child’s best interests at the time of separation.
By understanding these legal principles, you can communicate the benefits of a marriage contract in a clear and informed way.
2. Consulting with a Toronto Family Lawyer
Before discussing a marriage contract with your partner, it’s wise to consult with an experienced family lawyer who specializes in Ontario’s marital laws. A lawyer can:
- Explain how Ontario’s laws apply to your situation.
- Help you identify what terms should be included in the contract.
- Ensure the agreement is legally enforceable and does not contain provisions that could be challenged in court.
- Offer guidance on how to present the idea in a way that is non-confrontational.
Why Legal Advice Matters:
In Ontario, for a marriage contract to be valid, both parties must receive independent legal advice before signing. If a court finds that one spouse did not understand the terms or was pressured into signing, the contract could be deemed unenforceable.
3. Approaching the Topic as a Partnership, Not a Demand
The way you introduce the idea of a marriage contract can set the tone for the entire conversation. Instead of presenting it as a one-sided request, emphasize that it is about mutual financial clarity and protection.
Best Ways to Frame the Conversation:
✅ Use “we” instead of “I”
💬 “I think it would be a good idea for us to have a conversation about how we want to handle our finances in the future.”
✅ Explain the benefits for both partners
💬 “A marriage contract can help protect both of us and give us peace of mind, no matter what happens in the future.”
✅ Acknowledge emotions and concerns
💬 “I understand that this can be a difficult conversation, and I want us to approach it together in a way that feels fair to both of us.”
What to Avoid:
🚫 Making it seem like a lack of trust – Instead of saying, “I need to protect my assets,” say, “This is about ensuring we both feel secure.”
🚫 Bringing it up during an argument – The discussion should happen when both partners are calm and open to dialogue.
🚫 Using ultimatums – Saying, “I won’t marry you without this contract,” can make your partner feel pressured rather than involved in a shared decision.
By preparing properly and framing the conversation as a partnership, you can increase the chances of a productive discussion and a fair agreement.
How to Approach the Discussion with Your Partner
Discussing a marriage contract can be an emotional conversation, so it’s important to approach it with sensitivity, transparency, and respect. A well-planned discussion can help both partners feel comfortable and ensure that the agreement is viewed as a mutual safeguard, rather than a sign of distrust.
1. Choosing the Right Setting
The environment in which you bring up a marriage contract can significantly impact the tone of the conversation. Choosing a private, relaxed setting allows both partners to discuss the topic openly, without distractions or external pressures.
✅ Best Settings for the Conversation:
- At home during a quiet moment – Avoid bringing it up right before bed or during a stressful day.
- During a weekend getaway or a casual dinner – A comfortable and neutral environment can help ease tension.
- When discussing financial goals – If you’re already talking about budgeting, investments, or future plans, it may feel like a natural transition.
🚫 Settings to Avoid:
- During wedding planning stress – If emotions are already running high, the topic may feel overwhelming.
- At a family gathering – This is a personal discussion and should not be influenced by others.
- After an argument – The topic should be approached from a place of cooperation, not conflict.
2. Using Positive Framing
The way you frame the discussion can determine whether your partner sees the marriage contract as a positive tool or a negative obligation. Emphasizing fairness and protection for both partners is key.
✅ How to Frame It Positively:
💬 “I want us to be on the same page financially so that we can have a strong foundation for our marriage.”
💬 “This isn’t about expecting our marriage to fail, but about having an open and honest agreement in place for our future.”
💬 “A marriage contract is a way to protect both of us and ensure fairness in case life takes an unexpected turn.”
Avoid language that makes it seem like only one partner benefits, such as:
🚫 “I need to protect my assets.”
🚫 “This is something my lawyer says I should do.”
🚫 “I don’t want to lose money if we ever get divorced.”
Instead, keep the conversation focused on mutual benefits and the importance of having financial clarity.
3. Acknowledging Emotions
It’s natural for your partner to feel a mix of emotions when discussing a marriage contract, including concerns about trust and commitment. Validating these emotions and addressing concerns with empathy can help make the conversation smoother.
✅ How to Address Emotional Concerns:
- If they feel the contract is unnecessary:
💬 “I completely understand why this might feel uncomfortable, but this isn’t about not trusting each other. It’s about making financial matters clear from the start so that we don’t have to worry about them later.” - If they think it’s planning for divorce:
💬 “I know this might seem like we’re thinking about separation before we’re even married, but in reality, this is about making decisions together while we’re in a good place, rather than leaving them to chance.” - If they feel singled out:
💬 “This isn’t just for me; it’s for both of us. A marriage contract ensures we both know where we stand financially and that everything is fair.”
Recognizing and addressing these concerns with patience and reassurance can help your partner feel heard and understood.
4. Encouraging Questions
A marriage contract should be a mutual decision, not something one partner imposes on the other. Encouraging your partner to ask questions and express concerns will help them feel involved and ensure they understand the agreement fully.
✅ How to Encourage Open Dialogue:
💬 “I want to hear your thoughts on this—what do you think about the idea of a marriage contract?”
💬 “Are there any specific concerns you have that we should talk through together?”
💬 “Would you feel more comfortable discussing this with a lawyer to get a better understanding?”
Providing your partner with resources, such as links to Ontario’s Family Law Act, information from trusted family lawyers, or examples of fair agreements, can also help them feel more informed.
Addressing Common Objections and Concerns
When bringing up a marriage contract, your partner may have concerns or misconceptions about what it means for your relationship. Some people see it as a sign of distrust, while others think it only applies to the wealthy. Addressing these objections with calm, thoughtful responses can help ease worries and lead to a productive discussion.
Objection 1: “Do you think we will get divorced?”
This is one of the most common reactions when discussing a marriage contract. Many people assume that suggesting a contract means you’re expecting the marriage to fail.
✅ How to Respond:
💬 “No, I don’t think we will get divorced, but life is unpredictable. This is just a way to ensure that we’ve already made important financial decisions in case anything unexpected happens.”
💬 “A marriage contract is like an insurance policy. We don’t expect to get into a car accident, but we still get auto insurance because it’s a responsible step. This is the same idea—it’s about planning ahead so that we don’t have to worry about it later.”
💬 “Having a contract doesn’t mean we don’t trust each other. It means we’re being open and responsible about financial matters, which can actually strengthen our relationship.”
By emphasizing that the contract is a precautionary measure, not a sign of doubt, you can reassure your partner that this is about clarity, not lack of commitment.
Objection 2: “Isn’t this only for the wealthy?”
Some people believe that marriage contracts are only necessary for couples with large estates, businesses, or substantial wealth. In reality, they benefit couples at all financial levels.
✅ How to Respond:
💬 “Marriage contracts aren’t just for the super-rich. They’re for anyone who wants financial clarity and fairness in their relationship. It can help us decide in advance how we want to handle property, debts, and financial responsibilities.”
💬 “Even if we don’t have a lot of assets right now, we may accumulate wealth in the future. A marriage contract ensures that whatever we build together is managed in a way we both agree on.”
💬 “Without a marriage contract, Ontario’s Family Law Act automatically determines how our property is divided if we ever separate. A contract gives us control over these decisions instead of leaving it up to the courts.”
Even couples with modest assets or debts can benefit from a marriage contract, as it can define financial responsibilities and prevent future disputes.
Objection 3: “Will this hurt our relationship?”
Some partners worry that bringing up a marriage contract signals a lack of trust or might create tension in the relationship.
✅ How to Respond:
💬 “I actually think having honest conversations about finances and legal matters can make our relationship stronger. It helps us be completely open with each other, which builds trust.”
💬 “Money is one of the biggest causes of stress in relationships. If we address these topics now and have a clear plan, we can avoid misunderstandings later.”
💬 “This isn’t about us planning to break up—it’s about us working together as a team to make responsible financial decisions.”
By framing the conversation as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, you can help your partner see the contract as a tool for teamwork rather than conflict.
The Legal Process of Drafting a Marriage Contract in Ontario
Once you and your partner agree on the idea of a marriage contract, the next step is to ensure it is legally enforceable under Ontario law. The process involves seeking independent legal advice, ensuring fairness, full financial disclosure, and proper execution of the agreement.
1. Importance of Independent Legal Advice for Both Partners
For a marriage contract to be enforceable in Ontario, both parties should seek independent legal advice (ILA) before signing. This means that each partner must consult with separate lawyers to review the agreement.
💡 Why Independent Legal Advice Matters:
- Ensures that both partners fully understand the terms of the contract.
- Prevents claims of coercion or undue influence, which could lead to the agreement being overturned in court.
- Helps confirm that the contract complies with Ontario’s Family Law Act and does not contain provisions that may be challenged.
If one partner refuses to seek legal advice, they may later claim they did not understand what they were signing, which could weaken the enforceability of the contract.
2. Ensuring the Contract is Voluntary, Fair, and Properly Executed
A marriage contract must be signed voluntarily, without pressure or coercion, and must be fair to both parties. If a court determines that a contract is unconscionable or was signed under duress, it may declare the agreement invalid.
✅ Best Practices for a Fair Marriage Contract:
- Ensure that both partners have sufficient time to review and negotiate the agreement.
- Avoid bringing up the contract too close to the wedding date, as this could be seen as undue pressure.
- Keep the agreement balanced—if it is heavily one-sided, a court may overturn it.
- Include provisions that address potential changes in circumstances (e.g., career shifts, children, health issues).
💡 Example: If one partner waives their right to spousal support in the contract, but later faces financial hardship, a court may deem that clause unfair and set it aside.
3. Required Financial Disclosure Under Ontario Law
A full and honest financial disclosure is a critical requirement when drafting a marriage contract. Under Ontario’s Family Law Act, both partners must provide a detailed list of their:
- Assets (real estate, investments, businesses)
- Debts and liabilities (loans, mortgages, credit card debt)
- Income and financial obligations
💡 Why Financial Disclosure is Crucial:
- Prevents one party from hiding assets or debts.
- Ensures fairness—a contract may be set aside if a spouse later discovers significant undisclosed assets.
- Helps both partners make informed decisions before signing.
If financial disclosure is incomplete or inaccurate, a judge may invalidate the marriage contract in a legal dispute.
4. Signing in the Presence of Witnesses and Legal Professionals
For a marriage contract to be legally binding in Ontario, it must be:
- In writing (verbal agreements are not enforceable).
- Signed by both partners voluntarily.
- Signed in the presence of a witness (who must also sign the document).
A lawyer, notary public, or other legal professional can act as a witness to ensure that the agreement meets all legal formalities.
💡 Final Checklist for a Legally Valid Marriage Contract in Ontario:
✔️ The contract is written and signed by both partners.
✔️ Each partner has received independent legal advice from separate lawyers.
✔️ The agreement is voluntary, without coercion or pressure.
✔️ Full financial disclosure has been exchanged.
✔️ The contract is witnessed and properly executed.
By following these steps, you can ensure that your marriage contract is strong, legally enforceable, and fair to both partners.
What Happens If You Don’t Have a Marriage Contract?
Many couples assume that they don’t need a marriage contract because they trust each other or believe they will handle financial matters fairly if they ever separate. However, without a contract, Ontario’s default family law rules will determine how assets and debts are divided, which may not align with your preferences.
How Ontario’s Default Property Division Rules Apply
In Ontario, if a couple separates without a marriage contract, the Family Law Act dictates how property and assets are divided. The main principle used is called equalization of net family property (NFP).
💡 How Equalization Works:
- Each spouse calculates their net worth at the date of marriage and again at the date of separation.
- The increase in value during the marriage is divided equally between both spouses.
- The spouse with the higher net family property pays the other spouse an equalization payment to ensure a fair division of assets.
🚨 Key Takeaways Without a Marriage Contract:
- If you owned property before marriage, the increase in its value may be shared with your spouse unless you protect it in a contract.
- If you receive a business inheritance, it could be subject to division if it is mingled with marital assets.
- Debts incurred during the marriage can also be split, even if one spouse was solely responsible for them.
💡 Example: If one spouse owns a home before marriage, and its value increases significantly, the appreciation in value may be shared with the other spouse, unless a marriage contract specifies otherwise.
Risks of Equalization Without a Clear Agreement
Without a marriage contract, couples must follow Ontario’s default laws, even if they never intended to share assets in a particular way.
❌ Risks of Not Having a Marriage Contract:
- You could lose control over your personal assets—property, businesses, or investments may be divided in a way you didn’t expect.
- If one spouse sacrifices career opportunities (e.g., stays home to raise children), they may later seek spousal support, which might have been addressed differently in a marriage contract.
- Family businesses or inheritances could be at risk, especially if their value increases significantly during the marriage.
💡 Example: Without a contract, if one partner starts a business during the marriage, half of its value may belong to the other spouse upon separation, even if they had no involvement in running it.
Potential Disputes Over Spousal Support and Asset Division
If a marriage contract is not in place, spousal support and property division can become contentious issues during separation.
- Spousal Support Claims: If one spouse earns significantly more than the other, the lower-earning spouse may seek long-term financial support based on factors like income disparity, duration of the marriage, and their financial dependency.
- Legal Costs: Disagreements over who gets what can lead to expensive legal battles that could have been avoided with a clear contract.
- Emotional Stress: Without an agreement in place, partners often experience confusion, frustration, and uncertainty about their financial futures.
💡 Example: If one partner earns $150,000 a year and the other earns $50,000, spousal support could be required for years after separation, even if both partners originally agreed they would be financially independent. A marriage contract could have defined support terms in advance to prevent disputes.
